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Before we Abdl sissy stories this discussion, it is important to get one really important question out of the way. How to pick up a stripper is a question that could have a couple of different meanings. So by asking this, are you wanting to know….

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I get it. Tinder is tough.

Your wallet is empty First time pegging story your libido is howling. From my vantage point on the stage at the strip club, I understand that it seems like an obvious option for you to try to pick up the nearest scantily clad woman.

Still, lightning can strike twice and shark attacks DO happen. But, if you think you want your next bedpost notch to be courtesy Prison break parody a dancer, you should probably erase the following moves from your playbook.

Sit there, with your chest pushed out like a cat presenting a dead bird. Or a kid who has just taken off his diaper.

Make dramatic atm withdrawals

Look at Pan frying nemo Brag about how much money you make It might seem counterintuitive, but really, women have been hearing guys make big-dick jokes since high school.

We know that when someone is insecure about the lack of something, they overcompensate, whether it is a fiscal fib or a phallic one. Hit on every.

Bonus points if you use the same pickup lines, so that we can compare stories in the dressing room. Stroke her leg or touch her face Do you want to lose a finger?! Maybe you should date Big boned bois


Start crying Um Groups and hotties Stanger is a mother, stripper, feminist, activist, and author who entertains the masses in Portland, OR. She holds two university degrees, neither of which she utilizes in a conventional fashion.

She prefers organic food, dark beer, and self-actualized individuals.

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