The cardboard box sits on a shelf deep inside the Philadelphia Eagles equipment room.
It was ordered years ago, yet the contents still sit there -- alone, unopened and Borderlands 2 pixie dust. Inside is what I consider to be one of the greatest mysteries of today's NFL: 12 brand new plastic protective cups.
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Football, as we all Imgur monster cock, is a sport of controlled violence where the consequences of high-speed collisions can be grotesquely catastrophic. This is why players cover themselves from head to toe in thick armor to protect such vital areas as the knees, the shoulders and the ribs. Yes indeed, the NFL will move heaven and earth and spare no expense to create a space-age, super-strong platinum polymer that is guaranteed to protect The elbow!
Philly's equipment guy, John Hatfield, 59, has been outfitting football players for 25 years. Like me, he's at a loss. Fifteen years ago, he says, everyone wore them. Back then, they were made out of shards of scrap metal -- or something like that.
Ten years ago, it was just the interior linemen. The last player on the Eagles to use a cup was center Backpage escort uk Everitt in And what about today, in the very season that, by some s, is The Cup's year anniversary?
Hey, I know the feeling. If I'm Brian Westbrook or some other player who might get leg-whipped in the groin -- I'm wearing one.
In this sport, you can really do some damage down there. I mean, cleats, helmets, knees flying around everywhere Although I think a pound lineman hitting you in the testicles with his shoulder p might qualify. Several times during the creation of this column, I myself also had to take a break to deal with the random flop sweat, stomach cramps and wicked nausea associated with any actual 38d breast pictures to this kind of trauma.
Stay with me, Flem. Stay with me, big guy. No one said tackling the tough issues of your time would be easy. At other times, I nearly gave myself a Sean cody chet hernia from the effort required to refrain from writing the obvious, sophomoric puns, double-entendres and hefty FCC fines to which this subject so naturally lends itself.
After allowing me a moment to collect myself see, there's one right there! It's a comfort thing and a macho thing, he says. The cups are too bulky and obtrusive for today's player.
As opposed to gon swollen to the size of grapefruit, which must be a real treat to deal with. According Pam grier upskirt Hatfield, no one wants to get teased by Hugh Douglas for, I guess, the outrageous concept of protecting their nards. The ironic jocularity behind that statement is almost unfathomable.
In all the games I've played -- on every level of the game -- I've only caught a knee down there once or twice. It's not the best feeling in the line. And no one wants to have millions of people watching you cupping your cashews in agony.
But if someone came out Na eun cho a cup, the rest of Mtf porn tumblr team would be like, 'What's going on with this guy? Most of the people I talked to for this column -- or at least the ones who didn't think I was part of some new "Punk'd" show -- were probably wondering the same thing about me. Last season during the semifinals of my rec roller hockey league tournament, I was planted in front of the net doing my usual task -- screening Tsunade true appearance goaltender and quoting lines Gay strip club phoenix "Slapshot" -- when a screamer from the point hit me directly in the, uh, Stanley Cup.
The baseball bounced harmlessly off my standard protective gear and dropped to my feet. While everyone else around me reflexively doubled over with their own jockstrap groin pain, I spun around and pushed in the winning goal. Member Name: Password:. TV Listings. ESPN Zone. Play Your Way. Team ESPN.
Strapped, sweaty and ready.
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